Am I Enough?
You're fat! You're ugly! You're stupid! You're so annoying! These and many more hurtful words have been spoken into my life. As I look back to who I was as a child, I see a hurting little girl. Deep down, I just wanted someone who would love me for who I was; a silly girl with a lot of love and a big imagination!
As I grew into a teenager and young adult I really struggled with the insecurity of not being pretty enough, thin enough, smart enough; I was just not enough! I ran to and from relationships trying to find the place where I was good enough, my heart breaking a little more each time the relationship ended. "What is wrong with me?" This was the question I would ask myself over and over again, never finding the answer to my question, the answer of how to make people want to be with me.
That is until I encountered Jesus!
I grew up going to church, my mom started taking us when I was five years old, so I grew up going to church. I knew all of the Bible stories, all of the words to the hymns, how you were supposed to dress and act, all of the right answers to all of the questions; but I never really knew the love of Jesus until on Sunday night in a little church in our town.
The service started out just like any other Sunday night, we sang a few songs, had announcements, a few people gave testimonies, the pastor gave a short sermon, then we all moved to the alter for prayer time. I went up and kneeled on the first pew to say my normal prayer to God,
"Thank you for the great week, looking forward to this week, here is my list of needs and wants," and check it off the list until the next week.
But something different happened this time...
I remember the pastor's wife coming over and touching my shoulder and she started praying and something happened in me, I just broke. I began to sob and I couldn't stop. All those years of rejection and pain came pouring out and spilling on to the pew I was kneeling at. I honestly don't remember how long I sat there and cried, I just know that I cried until there was nothing left in me, I was completely drained. My heart was exhausted but felt amazingly refreshed at the same time.
God took the years of pain and rejection and replaced it with His love and acceptance.
It was the start of me seeing myself the way God sees me;
I am loved 1 John 4:10
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us...
I am chosen Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you;"
I am His Masterpiece Ephesians 2:10
"For we are God's masterpiece..."
I am strong in Christ Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I can confidently say, I am smart enough, I am pretty enough, I am thin enough, I AM ENOUGH!
Whatever hurt and rejection you are carrying around, give it to God. Let him replace your pain with the love and acceptance that he has for you. Don't let the devil steal one more moment of your joy, one more moment of your identity in Christ, one more moment of living out the life that God has for you! Because in Christ, you are loved, you are chose, you are a masterpiece, and you are strong, YOU ARE ENOUGH!
~ Jenn
