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The Easy 'Yes' and the Hard 'No'

The Easy Yes and the Hard no

As a parent, I can easily find myself saying yes to too many requests my children make. My husband, has pointed out to me (several times) that I tend to say yes too often. I honestly want them to enjoy life and take advantage of every opportunity that they can. Especially, the opportunities that I was not able to take advantage of when I was growing up. Unfortunatly, some of these opportunities can, and did, cause a huge disruption to our family life, particularly to my schedule and current responsibilities.

Looking back to when my older children were younger, I can see that this was not always the right tactic. And too often it proved to only make my life harder than the 'hard no' would have.

Why is it so easy for me to say yes? Why do I tend to over extend myself?

I believe it's that I have an internal want to please and help people. Which in of itself is a can be a good thing. But anything uncontrolled can be detrimental to a person. Whether it is our diet, exercise, alcohol, shopping, volunteering... saying yes to the wrong thing can hurt us.

We have to use wisdom when making decisions for our lives.

For instance, it would not be wise for a diabetic to induldge in a high carb diet. Or for a person who struggles with managing their finances to apply for another credit card. Would it be easy to say yes to these things? Of course! Carbs are all around us, there is always another credit card offer in the mail. But the longterm effects of these yes's would be disasterous.

Saying NO can be hard! Saying no requires us to have self discipline. Saying no may cause pushback. Saying no may dissapoint others.

This is something I am not particularly good at, but I am working on it! But, the ‘Hard No’ can protect us from eventual sadness and regret. It gives us peace that we are doing what God is calling us to do. The 'Hard No' also has the ability to allow God to show Himself in our lives.

Jesus is a great example of the 'Hard No'.

In John 11, We read about Jesus' friend Lazarus. Lazarus was sick. His sisters knew Jesus had the ability to heal their brother. Plus, they had an in with Him, they were friends of Jesus.

John 11:5-6 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.

But, why? Why would Jesus take His time getting to Lazarus? They were friends, weren't they?

We go on to read:


John 11:14-15 Then Jesus said to them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe. Nevertheless let us go to him.”

Wait, He was glad too! His friend is dead, and He is glad. Why? This was His friend. He could have easily healed him two days before in the town He was in. Do you think it was hard for Jesus to say ‘No’ to healing Lazarus? I do! In verse 35 it says:

Jesus wept.

In verse 36, it says, 

Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!”

Jesus loved Lazarus. He was sad he had died, but He knew His ‘no’ would result in something greater than his ‘yes’ would have.

John 11:40

We go onto read in verses 40-44.

Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said,

“Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” Now when He had said these things, He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” And he who had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”

Jesus did not allow others to deter Him from His ministry and looked what happened. In letting Lazarus die, Jesus was able to show the love and power of God. He showed His ability to make dead things live again. Jesus' no was more powerful than His yes would have been.

I recently found myself in this position, replying with the 'Hard No'. It was difficult. It would have been so much asier to say, YES! A friend had asked me to join the board of a great ministry. Inside my head I was like, YES! Instantly I had these ideas of what we could do at events, how we could market. My head swirled with ideas. I love this friend and I want to be able to help her. I told her I would think and pray for it.

God has the ability to make dead things alive again!

Over the next few days, I prayed and asked God what I should do, and the answer was clear. Although this is an amazing ministry designed to give women the hope and love of God, it would have caused me to be overextended… again. I would be neglecting the things God has laid on my heart to accomlish. Honestly, this was a 'Hard No' for me to say. I felt like I was letting her down. But I had peace that in my no, I was doing what God wanted me to do.

I know that my 'No' has opened the door for someone else to step in and do the work God is calling them to do.

Is there a ‘Hard No’ God is asking you to say today? I encourage you to pray, seek His wisdom and use His strength to be able to say the ‘Hard No’ to the good things so you can say ‘YES’ to the great things!

Until next time,




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Welcome to my blog, a place where we can explore the beauty of life and faith together. As a strong believer, I'm passionate about sharing my personal experiences and insights with others who may need a little guidance on their journey. Join me as we explore the triumphs and challenges of living a faith-based life.

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